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Hawaiian Shirt -- By

No Treason - Heisenberg in a Hawaiian Shirt by Billy Beck Journal | Weblog | Metablog | Forum | Archives | Featured Articles | Resources | On Voting Author Index John T. Kennedy Lynette Warren John Sabotta Billy Beck Kipawa Condor Bob Murphy Andy Stedman Aaron Hartter John Lopez Mike Soja Joshua Holmes Patri Friedman Rob Robertson Tim Starr Dick Freely Heisenberg in a Hawaiian Shirt -- By Billy Beck Dec. 6 -- I'm sitting here right now watching the Florida House ofRepresentatives Minority Leader, Lois Frankel (D), making an astonishingfool of herself on network television. Her grief over the announcementof a special session of the Florida Legislature in order to appoint aslate of presidential electors has driven her to distraction. For onething, she says the thing is illegal, and even hinted at litigation toenjoin it. Given the state of the courts these days, she couldprobably get someone to actually hear the case. During herpainful moan, Rep. Frankel asserted it as "naive" that anyone shouldthink the Florida Legislature's leadership was "calling the shots." "The only thing missing from the proclamation today was thepostmark from Austin," she said. She went on about theubiquitous "WillofthePeople" and how outrageous it would be for the"partisan" majority to supplant themselves for the wishes of six millionFloridians. If there is one thing I cannot stand, it's a whineyloser. ("Legal and constitutional scholars far smarter than me have been saying that there is no legal grounds for this!" she let on.)Oh, there's room for it in the case of, say, a ninety-seven-poundweakling getting trounced by a two-hundred-pound bully pounding him justbecause he's little. I could see that sort of thing being worth howlingabout, because the injustice of it is starkly obvious: anyone like thatwho would destroy someone smaller just because he's smaller, isalso a good candidate for a tire-iron on the kneecap just to get hisattention before making things right again. In the matter ofbig-time politics, however, nothing like this is the case. For oneobvious thing: ignorance of the rules is no excuse. Rep. Frankel coulddo herself a favor just by reading the US Constitution. Personally, I'mnot a real big fan of that document, but it's not terribly long orotherwise difficult to understand. Also: I'm not the one who's gone intobusiness under its provisions, which is not the case with Rep. Frankel,even though she's just a whiney Florida state representative. In theinstant case everything she was talking about is subject to theauthority of the US Constitution. "Each State shall appoint, insuch a Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number ofElectors." (Article II, Section 1, paragraph 2) The periodisn't strictly quotation, because the sentence continues beyond thatpunctuation, but it'll stand for the purpose of a great big "HELLO!" toRep. Frankel. So, what exactly is it that drives a person likeher to her appearance this afternoon? Well, she knows an implacablething when she sees it. The Republican majority in Florida is gettingready to have their way with the elector slate, and if they really wantto do that, there is nothing in the world that anyone can do about it.They have all the numbers breaking their way, and poor Rep. Frankel, whowants Al Gore to be president, is going to lose in that case. One wonders if she didn't understand politics when she chose a career.Did she never look forward to a day when her own party would be in themajority and have its way? If she ever did, then whence all thishollering about "partisanship?" What the hell else could sheever expect? If she has some idea that her own appearance on the heelsof the announcement was "non-partisan" or something like it, she shouldbring it on, because I can always use a good laugh. Whether theFlorida Republican leadership of the legislature are"partisans," one thing remains indisputably true: thatassembly is mandated by the US Constitution to appoint a slate ofpresidential electors. They're calling the special session a "safetynet" in case the Certificate of Ascertainment -- already stashed inWashington -- turns out to be not so certifiable as a result of anynumber of legal actions now in progress. They might never stand up andcop to "partisanship" in the deal, right out loud, any more than Rep.Frankel would admit that for motive of her own distress, but they feellike they need to cover the action. Who could blame them? It'svariously said that "the electors were chosen on electionday." This is the "photo-finish" argument; that the only thingremaining is to examine the photos of the finish. That would be thefull-blast manual recounts. The most notable example at the moment isthe Leon County circuit court case which was appealed to the FloridaSupreme Court. The Gore team is still playing for a hand recount of14,000 "under-vote" ballots in Palm Beach and Miami-Dade counties. The "undervote" ballots are the sort that require human peeringthrough to a light source, nonsense aptly called "ballot phrenology" byLynette Warren right here in The Union Square Journal. It was great forillustrating the actual cognitive value of various ardent work carriedon by the various bleary-eyed canvassing boards, which is nil. Now, we could rehearse all the hue & cry over "divining voterintent" and all the rest of it, but I'm not interested. I'll justsensibly assert , here, that anyone who thinks they know who an"undervote" voter voted for, is also just making it up. The simple factis that there is no evidence, in the same way that there is no evidencefor leprechauns. That's that. It's just the way it is. The far more pressing question involves who, exactly, is making up what,exactly, and why they would do it. This is the point whereintegrity requires Full Disclosure. I want to get out of the way, rightaway, that I am a dedicated Clinton Hater. Sooner or later in thesecolumns I will make clear to all the fullest depths of my contempt forThe Lying Bastard and his Ozark Long March. The point is brieflynecessary here, however, for this reason: I am not unreasonable about it. Throughout The Long National Nightmare -- duringwhich I have been far more fully awake than to fall for all the"prosperity" jazz -- I grew to my status ("If only the guykept an "Enemies List" like some presidents we've known!") withclose observation of this administration's record, which was alwaysappraised in terms of principles . All of that leads to fairlyheavy material, all its own. My principles (mainly freedom) are anathemato many, but I'm not here to argue them. (Yet.) What I'm getting at isthe fact that hating Maximum Bill, as well as his whole rotten cast, isan eminently reasonable conclusion at which to arrive by a process ofreason. One more disclosure in order to set a context: Bush isgoing to be a spectacularly rotten president. Not especially evil, Ithink, but spectacularly rotten. Tack that up on your refrigerator: Isaid that. Period. Way, way back in that unholy nightbetween the 7th and 8th of November, Christopher Ruddy writing atNewsmax filed a 4:21am report which stated that "key Democraticprecincts held back turning in their final tallies until the bitterend." Ahead of a few of its unfortunate or improvident competitors, TheNew York Times had stopped its presses sometime near 3:30am in order toavoid another Truman/Dewey style headline goof. Before the morning sunhad raced from sea to shining sea, the Florida vote was legally mandatedfor recount by the hair-thin margin, and forecasts of court challengeswere already hours old. The Florida vote looked like a trainwreck that had finally found its grid-coordinate. The Place To Be. Very shortly after the train wrecked, air was densely fogged withshouts of confusion in numbers that eventually far outstripped thealleged mistaken Buchanan votes. Even before the train wrecked,Gore fund-rouser Terry McAuliffe told reporters, "We got to make surethis election is right." Looking back at that November 7th statement,one wonders whether he knew the wreck was coming, although itwould be fair to note that we're talking about a state in which votefraud is so pervasive that the Miami Herald won a Pulitzer Prize forinvestigating the subject, so I guess it's possible that my eightyear-old niece could have expressed the same worry had she beeninterested. By 4:30am during the overnight on NBC, Newsweek'sJonathan Alter threw down what can only now be regarded as A Plan,looking back on actual events. Nearly frenzied over the nationwidepopular vote margin for Gore, Alter suggested shotgun litigation inevery court with an open door, essentially aimed at keeping the Bushelector slate from being certified for as long as possible. Twobeneficial ricochets might possibly accrue from this angle: 1) Bushmight yield to various unspecified pressures to concede the electionunder the weight of the national popular vote; and 2) it could later beplausibly argued that there could never be an accurate (i.e. - "true")accounting of the Florida vote. It shouldn't require aquantum physicist to understand which way the particles are blowing whena James Carville says that the day will come when we will all understandthat Al Gore won the election in Florida. It's likely the furthestdistance from accident when US Sen. Harry Reid, (D-Nev) come along toremind everyone: "Remember, there's something of a pale over all this:he lost the popular vote by over a quarter-million votes." Now,for the purposes of my own judgment in these matters, a resort tohistory is quite often good enough for me, and here's one thing I know:the name "Daley" anywhere near them is something like acid on fineleather... which isn't to point up a comparison of fine leather toelections, but actually the particular ferocity of the corrosive effect.And that's just for starters, as in: a generation before Carville, ifyou can imagine the devolutionary implications. So, now, we'retreated to some dynamic portrait of yet another working class herolaboring in The Ballot Fields for the future of the past, and here's anoteworthy fact: it's the... Gore people... who pitch that rubbish.Nobody else. I could sit here and nod my head and smile at thesuggestion that there is no Uncertainty Principle at work in thisbusiness, but I'm afraid I won't be very good at it, because theresimply can be no other way of things than that the data will change aslong as they care to look at it, because they're looking at it. Iam not a fool: I know "phrenology" when I see it, even if only as far asI can see the damned lawyers tramping around and the whining losersbaring fangs. Just look at these people, and tell me if the truth is inthem. Go ahead. Pat Caddell is nearly coming ungluedlately, and that looks like a signal matter, to me. "We are headed tohell," he said tonight in looking ahead at partisan divides. The poorguy is making as much righteous noise as he can over the electionstealings of Florida, but he's also got a pretty good grip on which waythe particles are blowing into the future. I've not heard him remarkgreatly on the legal plays. But he might see that sort of thing as swellfor people who dig it, but anyone who thinks that's where the action is,is also the type of person to be excited by a field-goal kicked in thelast six seconds of a 21-7 football game. Yeah: there's a lotof noise in the stands, and even side-bets on miracles (e.g., MartinCounty), but Al's dead. Nobody has to believe that, of course,but they get to hang around and watch to see who's right about it. Andthen, as Carville tells us where his bet lays, "We're gonna have thewrong guy in the presidency because these votes are going to be countedunder the Florida sunshine law." It was Nancy "Amazing" Grace who hippedus, "Those votes will be counted, come hell or high water." Wonder which it'll be. Don't you? Which would be what to the Bushadministration, and would it be "partisan?" Jeez, it wouldalmost call for some kind of price to be paid for winning the election,what Thomas Bray at OpinionJournal.com characterized as "go[ing] allwobbly with gauzy visions of a bipartisan future." How much hell or highwater would that take? The question occurs because of the ways thesepeople raise them... but this isn't the place to start raising otherquestions about burnt drowned bodies. And, see, the thing isthat Maximum Bill can go ahead and ride off to Hollywierd or Oxford ifhe can get away with either one of them... if he can get far enough awayto dodge the splinters if one of his old pillars explodes under him,which is to say: out of reach of "the law." He probably will, and Isaid so years ago. (From 1776 on, nobody ever died so that somethinglike Bill Clinton could be what he has been and then just flit off toparty like a retired Soviet apparatchik as if the blood of the Lubyankacellars had never splashed his trousers.) But the Clintonism is seeped now, and I ain't counting on Dubya to ward it off. [1] Comments Billy Beck Archive

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